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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What a year...

One year ago today Nick and I came home from our ultrasound devastated and crushed by the news that our twins were monoamniotic. I remember sitting on the couch feeling like there was no hope. All of our plans for a "normal" pregnancy- showers, nursery decorating, registering, simple excitement for the birth of our first child/ren- were all lost. I was distraught by the thought of a 2 month hospital stay. I/we had been overcome by sadness, yet had to keep going with a regular life- working, seeing friends,normal day-to-day activities-all with this impending "doom" hanging over our heads. How could I keep going? Did they kick today? Did I move the wrong way? Will I see a heartbeat?

One year ago today I never thought I would hear my babies cry, never thought I'd be able to hold them and see them smiling up at me. I never thought I'd get to watch them sleep, feed them a bottle or change their diaper.O All of these everyday things can get tiring with twins, but when I look back at how MUCH I wanted the chance to do all of these things one year ago, I don't mind so much. As I watch them play, learn to roll over, eat real food (and LOVE it) , sit up on their own, and laugh at the dog I can't believe what a miracle we have truly experienced.

One year ago today, we shed so many tears. Today I shed the same tears, but not for the same reason. Today I shed tears of joy. My life is completely different than it was a year ago. People having babies talk about "a year from now..." and realize things will be different. But for us, our "year from now..." was filled with tragic thoughts and terrible statistics. Instead, we had that year that the others were expecting to have: crying babies, sleepless nights, teething, fevers....smiles, giggles, hugs, love.

One year ago, God gave us lesson. He taught us how much we love each other, how much we are loved and supported by our family and friends. He reminded us to find Him in times of need and He will carry us through. He taught us to have Faith in Him. If you have any doubt, I have proof: